When countries did lockdown and mandatory quarantine, many people complained about the lockdown. They were just waiting for the lockdown to end, nothing wrong in that of course, except only if people had the understanding that lockdown was not the problem, if anything, it was the solution. The problem is/was the virus. They shouldn’t be waiting for the lockdown to end, but the virus to.
Every time someone would tell me, “this lockdown has ruined their life or plans”, I tried to remind them that lockdown is anything but a problem. Instead we should be hoping for the virus to end and doing everything in our power to expedite that.
I understand that not everyone had the privilege to stay home but what made me angry/sad though was the people who had this privilege and still were so oblivious to the pandemic. People were just going on with their lives. I live alone which meant I literally didn’t have to worry about infecting someone at my home even if I behaved like those oblivious crowd. But still I had the decency to respect the fact that we were/are in the middle of a pandemic and the only way to fight it is to be united.
I live in the city (NYC) which was one of the hotspot for Covid cases all over world. The only reason I left my house during those time (almost 4 months) was either for groceries or going to work. I would have to go to work even when everything was shut down because my work came under essentials category but the frequency was only like 1-2 days per week. I was just in my apartment otherwise the entire time. It was a very different experience for me, cause how often does someone just stay inside for like 4 months without seeing anybody?
I didn’t even leave my house to go see my family in another state because 1st, I couldn’t use any public transport during that time, 2nd, New york being the most infected state that time, I was actually afraid of infecting anyone in case I somehow contacted virus.
But those 4 months actually showed me what I am capable of. There were so many times in my life where I’ve doubted myself and thought I was a weak person, but during times like these, I am so proud of myself for going through it alone. ALONE, by myself. Albeit people would tell me, “you are not alone in this” with their best intentions and they were only trying to help me but the truth was, in fact, I was alone in this, I was. So, I thought there are two ways to do this. I could either look for a strong, successful, dependable person to take care of me, or you know become that person myself. I choose to do the later.
Also, this isn’t some sad or cry for help story that I am sharing. It’s legitimately what I went through and I just felt like writing and sharing it.
What’s probably the most heartbreaking though, was the inability to be with my loved ones. You know how long it was for me since I physically touched a human being since the pandemic? It was almost 120 days. For about 120 days, I did not see any person close to me. Only after the situation got a little better in New York, I had my brother drive me to him.
You know it’s funny, right now we all are thinking that if we had an idea about this happening to the world, we would have been more mindful about our priorities. We would have gone out more, not procrastinated meeting family, would have held your loved ones for longer, all those little things we take for granted. Because it’s a luxury being physically next to someone you love. I have learnt that the hard way.
I don’t know about many people, but people who are taking this virus seriously might come out of it with PTSD or OCD or some physiological distress. I don’t know what it’ll do to most people. I’m also afraid it will do something to me as well.
But I guess it’s not fair to just write about the hard part I went though. I also had many privileges during these times for which I am thankful for. I had/have an amazing “essential” job. I had the luxury of staying indoors. I had/have an apartment all to myself. I finally managed to learn little cooking. I read more books than I usually would do in a year. And probably lot many things.
Its still a very long road ahead for recovery but let’s hope the end is not too far away.